Category: Manage your team

Keep it on the one: From funk to management

I sometimes close my newsletters with the expression: “keep it on the one.”

Some of you have asked what it means. Others have asked how a phrase rooted in music applies to the craft of management.

So here’s a short reflection on both.

The musical foundation

“The one” refers to the first beat of a 4/4 time signature. Think of it simply as the one, two, three, four count that underlies much of Western music. James Brown would tell his band to “hit it on the one,” emphasizing that first beat hard, anchoring the groove so everything else could lock in around it.

What I grew up with was mostly jazz, where the groove works a little differently. The bass lays down the one and the three; my guitar came in on the two and the four. That gave us a pulse—boom, clap, boom, clap—a conversation between instruments. Once that back-and-forth is in place, everything else can layer in. The horn section, the keys, the percussion, each doing their own thing, but all staying grounded.

It’s not uncommon in a tune to have the bass lay out the foundation on the one and three for a while before the rest of the rhythm comes in.

You can drift in and out of solos, experiment with voicings, stretch the phrasing. But if you ever get lost, you just listen for the one.

That’s where you rejoin the groove.

The management connection

The same holds true in management.

Just as musicians need a shared pulse to stay in the pocket, teams need a clear, dependable reference point, something that centers them.

In practice, keeping it on the one means establishing and sustaining the fundamental rhythms that hold a team together. The values you live by. The priorities you return to. The cadences you maintain. What that looks like will differ from one team to the next.

When projects get complex or improvisation runs wild, or when a new player joins the ensemble, it’s those fundamentals that help everyone find their way back into sync.

It’s not about rigid structure. It’s about shared rhythm.

It’s what allows people to play differently without falling apart.

That’s why I say “keep it on the one.”

It’s a reminder, for myself and for you, to stay grounded. To stay in time with what matters. To keep the rhythm that makes both structure and creativity possible.

Because great performance, whether in music or management, is never just about the solo. It’s about staying connected to the groove we build together.

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Keep it steady. Keep it human. Keep it on the one.

 

 

Introducing: Behind the Scenes

I spend a fair amount of time rereading what I’ve written—to understand how my thinking holds together and where it might be heading next. How do ideas I explored months ago connect to what I’m circling now? What threads have I been following without realizing it? Where did a particular angle actually come from?

It’s a way of making sense of my own thinking. But I’ve started to wonder if others might find that process interesting, too.

So I’m starting a monthly-ish Behind the Scenes series where I share some of that reflection. The first one looks at how my recent essay, What You Lose When You Lead, fits within the larger conversation I’ve been building about management and leadership. How ideas about craft, exemplarity, and human motivation have been circling each other in my work, converging around one of the most misunderstood transitions in professional life.

The weekly newsletter stays just as it is: free and open to everyone. This is simply the thinking I’d be doing anyway, made available for the cost of a coffee if you’re curious to come along. Most Behind the Scenes entries will be for paid subscribers, though I’ll share one with everyone from time to time when it feels right.

If that’s not your thing, no worries. Nothing changes. The main conversation continues every week, just as it always has.

I’ll send the first one tomorrow.

Decoding ‘What For’: Understanding What Really Drives Us

In recent weeks, we’ve explored management as craft, requiring deep understanding of human nature, and leadership as poetry, flowing with rather than against the currents of organizational life. As we’ve ventured into embracing chaos—both within and around us—a new question emerges: what truly moves people forward? Perhaps the answer lies not in how we motivate others, but in understanding the complex web of motives that already drives them.

 

What draws people forward? We often frame this question in terms of motivation—what we can do to energize, direct, and sustain behavior. But what if the key lies not in motivating people, but in understanding their deeper motives?

Vicky is a dedicated doctor. She studied hard, interned tirelessly, and continues to work with unwavering commitment. Her warm bedside manner has made her a trusted physician, and she never gives up on her patients. Vicky also keeps up with the latest research, consults with colleagues, and strives to do the right thing. She genuinely cares about her patients and always wants what’s best for them.

But there’s another layer to Vicky’s story: she also wants to make a good living. She’s proud of her work, yes, but she’s also conscious of the financial rewards it brings. And why shouldn’t she be? Vicky wants to succeed on multiple levels—she’s driven by both her passion for medicine and her desire to support her well-being. This brings us to an important question: what drives people? What inspires someone like Vicky to do her best every day?

We often think of motivation as either intrinsic or extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from within—it’s when we do something because we enjoy it or find it meaningful. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is when we do something for external rewards, like money or recognition. But this traditional distinction is too simplistic. In reality, our drives are far more complex.

We might be better off talking about motives instead of motivation. Motives are the specific outcomes or goals we’re aiming for. They’re not just the ‘why’ behind what we do; they’re the ‘what for.’ What are you doing this for? Is it for financial security, personal satisfaction, or the well-being of others? Identifying these motives helps us understand what we’re trying to achieve.

And that’s where things get interesting. It’s perfectly possible—common, even—to have multiple motives at once. Take Vicky: she wants to make money (extrinsic), do good work and be proud of it (intrinsic), and ensure her work has a positive impact on others (what my colleague Iñaki Vélaz calls transcendent motives). Transcendent motives are those that go beyond ourselves—a desire to contribute to something bigger, to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.

What if, instead of trying to motivate people, we sought to understand their motives? How might that change the way we lead? When assigning tasks or responsibilities, there is what needs to get done; and there is aligning that work with the motives of the person performing it. Rather than trying to push others, what if we simply uncovered and highlighted the motives they already hold? It’s not about forcing them to act but inviting them to engage with work that aligns with their personal goals.

Ultimately, the conversation isn’t just about motivation in some broad, abstract sense. It’s about recognizing the diverse motives that drive people in different ways. So the next time you’re thinking about how to inspire your team, ask yourself: What are their motives? And how might those motives connect with the goals of the organization? By opening up the field of possibility, we can create workplaces where people feel fulfilled not just by what they do, but by why—and for what—they do it.

Motives are fluid, and they can shift over time. Vicky who starts driven by financial security might later find herself more motivated by the impact she has on her patients. Or, she might prioritize both at different times, depending on what’s happening in her life. How often do we reflect on our shifting motives? If they evolve, how might that shape the way we engage with work and life? Understanding our motives is just one part of the endless journey of understanding what moves us forward, what holds us back, and how we might work with rather than against our human nature.

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Go HERE for more Essays.

Those Who Are Quiet

You sit in meetings. While others talk, you listen. When you speak, what you say cuts through distraction and confusion. You notice things: voices that waver, hands that tighten, and eyes that glance away.

In discussions, you sit back and observe. You let understanding settle while others rush to speak.

When trouble comes, you don’t act until you know what’s needed. Under pressure, you stay with each moment until it becomes clear.

Your leadership gives others space to think for themselves. In your meetings, silence isn’t empty—it allows clarity to surface. You see strength in careful thought and sharp observation.

When you lead projects, patience becomes part of the process. Your teams learn the value of thoughtful pauses. You guide them gently, letting solutions emerge naturally.

When panic fills a room, you stay steady. While urgency demands quick fixes, you focus on understanding what’s wrong. Your calm steadies others when they falter.

When you speak—and you do—people listen. Your words carry weight because they’re thoughtful. You say what matters without wasting words.

Your strength is quiet, but it inspires. You help others find their clarity and confidence.

In a world where noise drowns out thought, your patience reveals what’s important. You show how waiting uncovers truth.

In hard times, people turn to you for your steadiness. You bring a quiet strength to a loud world.

I see you. I celebrate you. I honor what you bring.

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Go HERE for more Essays.

Effective Time Management for Leaders: Beyond ‘Keep It Brief’

Stop watching the clock and start reading the room. Here’s how successful managers balance depth with efficiency.

Managers often tell their teams to “keep it brief,” but complex issues need more than brevity. Here’s how to build a culture of meaningful, efficient conversations.

We hear a lot about “time management.” It’s the topic of countless training sessions, entire bookshelves, and more than a few apps. The advice is often the same: set strict boundaries, prioritize tasks, and stay within limits. For managers, that typically means allotting minutes to each item, limiting every conversation, and urging their teams to “keep it short.”

But there’s a different approach—one that can be more effective, especially in complex, human-centered work. Instead of setting limits, we can choose to give a matter “all the time it requires, and not a minute more.”

I don’t remember where I first heard this principle, but it’s the single most valuable time management idea I know. The phrase may seem simple, but it asks a lot of managers. It shifts responsibility onto us, rather than asking our teams to cut down, speed up, or simplify their thoughts. It’s a commitment to give each topic the consideration it deserves—and to move forward when that consideration is complete.

What This Principle Means in Practice

By promising to give a topic “all the time it requires,” we’re taking ownership of our engagement and focus. We’re saying to our teams, “This issue deserves to be explored in full—not squeezed into a 15-minute slot because that’s what my calendar says.” The “not a minute more” part brings essential discipline: we commit to moving forward when the matter is clear and complete.

This principle isn’t about abandoning structure. Rather, it’s about intentionality. It signals that we won’t cut things short that need depth, nor let discussions spin beyond their natural conclusion.

Why This Approach Works

This approach builds trust. When people know they’re not under a stopwatch, they engage more fully and honestly. They don’t have to compress nuanced issues into bullet points. They feel safe bringing the depth that matters require.

It also challenges us to be present rather than merely punctual. Our focus shifts from watching minutes tick by to ensuring each moment contributes to clarity and resolution.

Finally, it helps us avoid the “shortcuts” that often emerge from artificial time constraints. When we adopt this principle, we give ourselves permission to be thorough while maintaining momentum.

Real-World Application

In a project debrief, instead of saying, “We have half an hour to get through this,” try: “We’ll take the time needed to understand what worked, what didn’t, and what we can learn. Once we’re clear, we’ll move on.”

For 1:1 meetings, rather than saying, “Let’s cover everything in 15 minutes,” frame it as: “Let’s dive into what’s most pressing for you. We’ll take the time it needs and wrap up when we’re both clear.”

Recognizing When “Time Required” Has Been Met

One of the biggest challenges with this approach is knowing when you’ve reached that sweet spot – when a topic has received “all the time it requires” but hasn’t exceeded it. While this judgment will always involve some intuition, there are specific indicators that can help you and your team recognize when you’ve achieved sufficient depth. They are checkpoints rather than checkboxes – not every discussion will need to hit all of them, but they provide a practical framework for assessment:

Clear Decision Points

  • Have all key stakeholders voiced their thoughts?
  • Can participants clearly restate main points and decisions?
  • Are next steps and owners clearly defined?

Diminishing Returns Signals

  • Discussion is becoming circular
  • New points are variations of previous ones
  • Energy has noticeably dropped
  • Side conversations are emerging

Quality Indicators

  • Solutions address root causes, not just symptoms
  • Risks and implementation challenges are considered
  • The path forward feels robust, not rushed

Emotional Resolution

  • Tension has been addressed
  • People seem comfortable with the outcome
  • Team members appear ready to move forward

Communicating With Your Team

When introducing this approach, you might want to explain that you’re trying to create a culture where depth is valued and brevity is honored when clarity is reached. Make it clear that while you’ll give topics “all the time they require,” you’ll also rely on the team to bring focus and intention to discussions.

Final Thoughts

Time management isn’t about counting minutes—it’s about making moments count. Giving matters “all the time they require, and not a minute more” asks us to be discerning, and responsible for our focus. It respects complexity without letting it run wild, bringing clarity to conversations and depth to decisions.

Try it in your next meeting. And please take a moment to let me know how it goes —not a minute more.

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Go HERE for more essays.

The Problem with “Leading by Example”: Rethinking Exemplarity as Being an Original

Leadership isn’t about setting a model for others to copy. It’s about being an original—sparking uniqueness over imitation.

For as long as I’ve been in management development, there’s one phrase that has never sat right with me: “leading by example.” You hear it everywhere, as if it’s the golden rule for managerial influence. I’ve even found myself repeating it on occasion, but each time I say it, it leaves a strange taste in my mouth. There’s an aversion there—a resistance that I haven’t quite been able to articulate until now. But reading Javier Gomá Lanzón on exemplarity, I started to find some clarity on why I’m uncomfortable with “leading by example.” What I realized is that this concept, while well-meaning, may actually work against the very authenticity and originality that true leadership requires.

Here’s how I got there.

The Initial Dilemma: A Skepticism Toward Leading by Example

The idea of “leading by example” seems straightforward enough: managers are advised to model behaviors they wish to see in their teams, setting a standard through their own actions. This is meant to foster trust and cohesion—if people see you demonstrating the values you espouse, they’re more likely to adopt them, too, right?

But what bothers me is that “leading by example” seems to emphasize performative alignment with a predefined set of behaviors rather than genuine, value-driven originality.

When I say “leading by example,” I feel like I’m advocating for something that might ultimately produce copies rather than individuals. And that’s where it rubs against the grain for me.

Enter a Spanish thinker: Exemplarity as a Call to Be an Original

Then I encountered Gomá Lanzón’s philosophy on exemplarity. He says it’s not about deliberate influence. It’s about being, not demonstrating; it’s an embodied authenticity that invites others to engage with their own values. He emphasizes a form of exemplarity that doesn’t present itself as a model to follow but rather as a presence that others might find inspiring for its genuineness.

The difference is subtle but significant. Where “leading by example” implies a transactional influence—“I show, therefore you do”—Gomá’s vision is organic and centered on integrity. It’s not about setting an example for the sake of others but about living out one’s values authentically and openly. Others may choose to follow, but the intention isn’t to direct or shape them. In fact, the most powerful kind of influence in Gomá’s framework comes from someone simply being an original.

Wrestling with Exemplarity: Being an Original vs. Leading by Example

With this new perspective, I started examining why Gomá’s distinction between “being” and “leading by example” felt so liberating. I realized that “leading by example” subtly promotes imitation. When leaders act as living templates, the focus shifts to emulation rather than self-exploration. This can inhibit the very originality that gives culture its depth. The outcome? A culture of followers rather than individuals, of adherence rather than authenticity.

Being an original, on the other hand, invites others to pursue their own authenticity. Gomá’s exemplarity doesn’t simply permit individuality—it calls for it. It isn’t about transmitting qualities for others to copy but about embodying values that might resonate with others, giving them the courage to explore what they stand for without pressing them into a mold. Here, exemplarity isn’t about direction but inspiration. It’s about existing in such a way that others feel empowered to become more themselves.

Practically Speaking: Exemplarity as a Presence, Not a Performance

Imagine a manager who embodies patience, curiosity, and resilience—not because they’re trying to lead by example but because those qualities are simply part of who they are. They’re not performing patience in meetings or resilience in challenges to set a standard. Instead, they’re living those qualities, creating a subtle but palpable influence that others might find grounding or inspiring. Their presence invites reflection, not imitation.

So, what does this mean for managerial influence? I think it calls for a shift from modeling behaviors to fostering an environment where people feel free to explore their own values. Exemplarity in Gomá’s sense encourages each person to be original—to bring forth qualities that are true to themselves, contributing to the collective culture without mimicking any individual’s traits.

Solving the Riddle: From Leading by Example to Being an Original

Ultimately, Gomá’s perspective helped me solve the riddle of my aversion to “leading by example.” It’s not that leading by example is inherently flawed—it’s that it can all too easily become a form of mimicry, where influence is wielded as a subtle directive rather than a quiet invitation. When we focus on being an original, we embrace an influence that’s not only less coercive but more transformative.

In place of “leading by example,” I’ve come to embrace “being an original.” It might not have the same symmetry, but it has more soul.

Exemplarity, when grounded in originality, invites others into exploration, free to find their values, rather than trying on someone else’s. This kind of influence doesn’t just foster trust—it cultivates the kind of authenticity that creates cultures of real depth and resilience.

The aversion is gone. And in its place, a framework that feels true to what leadership is all about: not creating copies, but inviting others into originality.

Before You Go

These reflections have not only helped me untangle my aversion to “leading by example” but have also clarified my resistance to *authenticity* as a buzzword.

Authenticity, often used to justify polished self-presentation, misses the mark if it’s just about appearing “real” for others to echo. Instead, both being an original and embodying authenticity mean standing as *a voice, not an echo*. This doesn’t aim to create replicas or followers; it’s a call for others to recognize and voice their own originality.

Ultimately, true exemplarity isn’t about providing a model to imitate but a presence that encourages others to uncover, not duplicate, their own. This may be the truest and most lasting kind of influence.

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Note:

Javier Gomá Lanzón’s thinking on exemplarity is unraveled over four books covering different dimensions of the topic: Imitación y experiencia, Aquiles en el gineceo, Ejemplaridad pública, and Necesario pero imposible. As far as I know, there are no English translations of his work yet.

 

See also my One more time: How do I lead by example?

[Update 2026: I followed this observation to its logical conclusion—and it led somewhere unexpected. See Abandon All Hope of Mattering.]

Precise Critiques, Vague Praise: Fixing the Feedback Imbalance

Why is it that when things go wrong, we get detailed feedback – but when things go right, it’s reduced to a hollow “good job”?

Managers are usually precise about what needs to be improved: increase productivity from X to Y, increase conversion rate to Z. But when it comes to recognizing good work, “good job” seems to be the verbal equivalent of a pat on the back. Almost like a parent absentmindedly complimenting a child, as if it’s an automatic response.

It reminds me that, in literature, even great heroes need specific praise to know what made them great. Achilles didn’t hear “well done” for his skills on the battlefield. They praised him for his courage, strategy, and leadership. It’s the details that make the praise meaningful, something to live up to. Good feedback isn’t about lavish praise; it’s about being clear about what we did well.

It’s easy to think, “They get paid for this,” and skip detailed praise. But is a salary enough recognition? If we’re going to be precise about correcting mistakes, we should be equally clear about what went right. It’s not about coddling people or boosting their egos. It’s about reflecting to them the reality of their actions with the same sharpness we use to point out where they fell short.

Vague praise is a missed opportunity. Clarity isn’t reserved for improvement; it’s how we acknowledge and sustain progress.

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Go HERE for more essays.

Be human to human beings

Whether it’s Black Lives Matter, COVID-19, mass shootings, massive firings in some industries, the war in Ukraine, or the war in the Middle East… it is reasonable to expect that any, some, or all of these events -and others- have impacted and still impact the minds and hearts of the people in your charge at work.

I invite you (and keep in mind that I am not beyond imploring or begging) that you do not turn a blind eye to how your people are affected, and that how they are affected impacts their ability to perform. I’m inviting you to be human. Being human to another human being is not a sign of weakness nor does it entail a loss of power.

And why should you?

Well, because they are human. They’re not things.

Call me a master of the obvious and I will say that there is enough evidence to show that managers and business owners often override this with the doctrine of some dead economist to the effect that “everyone is looking for their self-interest” or “employees have contractual obligations”.

That, by the way, is eons away from the other discourse they hold for the gallery: “We’re a family”, “people are our most important asset”, and -wait for it- “We’re all in this together”.

Again, why should you?

Well, because you are human too. As managers and business owners, we work with people, not through people.

We work with what’s there – now. And that changes from day to day as people have successes, are tired, have children, are worried, navigate grief, move from one city to another, go back to school, etc. It also changes based on what is going on in their environments, close and remote.

Over the years I found that the best teachers and the best managers and business owners all work from the same premise: you teach/manage the people in front of you. Not the ones you wish you had, but the ones you have, the ones that are there.

And not only are they different from one another in abilities and readiness, but they are also different from one day to the next. That is who you work with. Every day.

People are struggling.

There is a lot going on and they carry quite a bit from the recent past.

On the odd chance that you feel this might be too touchy-feely for you, I will say this: Emotions exist. They affect what we think about and how we think. The reasonable thing to do is to acknowledge emotions and work with them. To dismiss them altogether is, well, irrational.

So the invitation is this: be human to your fellow human beings, in difficult times and always.

I know you can. I trust you will.

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I originally published this text in the October 2023 issue of my monthly newsletter.

Go HERE for more essays.

Managers: it’s time to remind yourself why anyone should care

From the raw signal group:

Authors observe that a consequence of the great resignation is that people are walking into new jobs with a different attitude.

They didn’t come asking for meaning, or flavour, or for work to delight them. They came with boundaries and a list of expectations. And, listen: that’s a good thing. It’s extremely healthy for workers to want things like limits on working hours, competitive pay regardless of geography, and an ability to shut off work when they aren’t at work. We should hope that those gains, as uneven as they’ve been, outlast any pandemic or economic cycle.

Those changes are necessary. But they aren’t sufficient. Like a shopping mall food court, we’re surrounded by companies shouting about what a good deal they’re offering. Globally competitive salaries! 4 day work weeks in summer! Free dipping sauce! And in the midst of it, it feels like more people than ever before are finding their work really… bland. Like in the fight to compete for attention, employers have forgotten to build a culture worth fighting for.

So, insisting that we return to the office, to the same-old, just won’t cut it. And assuming that we’re all set because we are already remote or distributed won’t do it either. It’s not so much about the mode of work as it is the moment.

Their suggestion?

It’s time to tell the story again, bosses. Get your house in order on compensation and workload and expectations, for sure. But once you’ve done that, it’s time to remind yourself why anyone should care.

You may find this surprisingly hard at first. Why does your work matter? What impact does it have on the world around you, and why should someone who doesn’t care about the details of your industry give a shit? We don’t mean some sanitized corporate mission statement. We mean your own, real, authentically felt, dare-we-say-it-spicy sense of purpose.

Connect with that story. Tell that story. A modern one, with fresh spices. You want your people to feel it, to put the fire back in your organization. And you’re not gonna get there with the version that’s been sitting at the bottom of the drawer since 2019.

It’s not the overused and abused “Storytelling”. It’s creating clarity for yourself first.

100 recommendations for making meetings more beautiful

Members of the House of Beautiful Business community shared ideas on how to improve meetings. Before you join your next meeting, have a read-through of what they came up with. See what the repetition is saying (or not saying).

Even better: before you schedule your next, ask yourself: does this really require a meeting?

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Highlighting content from my September 2021 newsletter.