Not All Conversations Are Transactions

We treat most workplace communication as if it were transactional: I send a message, you receive it. I deliver information, you process it. Success is measured by whether the exchange occurred.

But some conversations aren’t transactions at all. They’re acts of creation.

When two people genuinely work together toward shared understanding, when they practice what I’ve called “co-responding,” something emerges between them that belongs to neither person individually. This isn’t metaphor. It’s a describable phenomenon you can learn to recognize.

What emerges

Consider what happens when you and another person truly co-respond: you’re not just expressing yourself clearly and listening carefully. You’re asking “Is this what you meant?” You’re offering “Let me see if I understand…” You’re working together, iteratively, to create mutual comprehension.

Two things accumulate in this process:

  1. The effort itself. This is genuinely shared labor. The questions asked, the clarifications offered, the patience extended. This work exists in the space between us; and
  2. The understanding that results. When we successfully co-respond, the comprehension we create isn’t just two identical thoughts in two separate minds. It’s a jointly constructed meaning. You understand what I meant, I understand what you meant, and we both know that we’ve understood each other. This knowing-together exists between us.

These two elements, the accumulated effort and the achieved understanding, form something that persists.

How precedent accumulates

This precedent-setting isn’t abstract. It has tangible effects.

Each genuine exchange establishes conditions for the next. The relational space between you becomes more capable. Communication becomes easier, faster, more nuanced. Not because either of you individually got better at communicating, but because of what you’ve established together through prior exchanges.

You see this when a brief exchange conveys what would have taken paragraphs with someone else. “The Q3 situation” means something specific between you and this colleague because you’ve established that understanding through repeated co-responding. With someone new, you’d need twenty minutes of context.

You can feel the difference. With some people, conversation flows. You pick up threads months later as if no time has passed. Complex ideas require fewer words. You’ve established precedents through genuine co-responding that make this possible.

With others, every exchange feels laborious. You’re explaining the same things the same way for the fifth time. Nothing has accumulated between you. You’ve been talking at each other, and those precedents, of not seeking confirmation, of not offering clarification, yield only transactional results.

You see erosion in real time: someone asks “So what you’re saying is…?” and you cut them off with “No, just do what I asked.” That moment establishes what’s possible next time. And the time after that.

What precedent you’re setting

Here’s what unsettles me: most of us don’t recognize that every exchange sets precedent.

Each conversation establishes what’s possible in the next one. What you do—the questions you ask, the clarifications you seek, the patience you extend—becomes part of what exists between you. What you don’t do—the questions not asked, the assumptions left unexamined, the shortcuts taken—becomes part of what exists between you too.

These precedents accumulate. They don’t reset. The world doesn’t start over each time you have a conversation. You’ve had exchanges before. You either left things well-tended or you left an impression. If you’ve had several of those, they add up to something.

We measure communication by immediate outcomes. Did they understand? Did they agree? Did they comply? These questions treat each exchange as discrete, complete, forgettable.

But if every exchange sets precedent, then there are no neutral transactions. You’re either establishing conditions that make future understanding more possible, or you’re not. The care you take matters. Not because you’re “investing” for some future return, but because what happens now shapes what’s possible next.

Most of what we call “communication” in organizational life creates no precedent worth having. It’s transactional by design. Send the email. Deliver the message. Check the box. Move on.

The irony is that the transactional approach is less efficient. Without accumulated understanding between persons, every exchange starts from zero. You’re perpetually re-establishing context, re-explaining, re-confirming.

Whereas genuine co-responding creates precedent that compounds. The tenth conversation is easier than the first. Not because either of you got better at communicating, but because of what you’ve established together.

What this asks of you

If every exchange sets precedent, then communication isn’t about your eloquence or your message or your persuasiveness.

It’s about what precedents you’re willing to establish with another person.

Which requires time you might not want to spend. Patience you might not feel you have. Genuine curiosity about what the other person means, which is impossible if you already know what they’re going to say.

It requires treating understanding as something constructed together rather than transmitted from one person to another.

Most of all, it requires recognizing that the question isn’t “Did they get my message?” but “What are we establishing together?”

Not all conversations are transactions. Some are acts of creation.

The question is: which are you practicing?

And what becomes possible, or impossible, because of it?

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photo by Tatiana P

When Business “Viability” Comes at Human Cost

This is an updated version of “If Your Business Can’t Afford Living Wages, It’s Already Failing” that you will find below. A conversation with a reader had me revisit the wording of the original piece.


What happens when a business survives only because its workers cannot? This is not a question we often ask in economic discussions, yet it cuts to the heart of how we choose to behave in a market economy.

Consider this statement I encountered recently:

Employers hate paying workers more because higher wages mean lower profit rates. Some marginally profitable businesses will face bankruptcy. Wealth holders will be concerned about companies raising prices to meet their profit objectives and causing inflation.

At first glance, this reads as neutral economic analysis. But what assumptions rest beneath these words? What might we discover if we examined the unspoken premises of this economic logic?

When we speak of “marginally profitable businesses,” we’re using language that conceals as much as it reveals. What does “marginal profitability” mean in human terms? For the business owner, it represents thin financial margins on the profit and loss statement. For workers, it often translates to lives lived on even thinner margins—choosing between medicine and food, working multiple jobs, relying on public assistance to bridge the gaps their wages cannot cover.

This raises uncomfortable questions about how we define business viability. We typically measure a company’s health by its ability to generate profit after covering its costs. But what if certain costs aren’t appearing on that profit and loss statement at all? What if they’ve been transferred elsewhere—to workers’ bodies, to families, to communities, to taxpayers?

When a business pays less than living wages, someone still pays the difference. The worker who postpones medical care until it becomes an emergency. The family that relies on food banks to supplement inadequate grocery budgets. The community that provides housing assistance. The taxpayers who fund public benefits for employed people whose paychecks don’t cover basic needs.

This isn’t to vilify business owners or entrepreneurs, many of whom operate under their own significant constraints and pressures. Rather, it’s an invitation to examine the choices we make in shaping our economy and whether they uphold the dignity of those within it. That a business is profitable is only one dimension of what it needs to be. Businesses don’t operate in a vacuum—they exist within a broader context. Having received from this context, should they not also contribute to it?

It invites us to examine how our economic arrangements shape the kind of society we become together. What behaviors and values do our business practices encourage? What kind of relationships do they foster between people? What does it mean when we accept—even expect—that certain categories of work will not support the workers who perform it?

Some might argue that workers unsatisfied with their wages can simply go elsewhere. But this response treats labor as a purely functional market input rather than something tied to human lives. It answers the mechanical question of how markets adjust, but not the ethical one: Is it ever justifiable to treat people as disposable means to an end?

And what about risk and transparency? Investors who provide capital to businesses do so with explicit awareness of the risks involved—indeed, they expect higher returns precisely because they acknowledge these risks. But do workers at low-wage employers enter with similar transparency about the company’s financial position? Or do they stake their livelihoods on these enterprises without the information investors would consider essential? This asymmetry is not just financial; it raises a deeper question about what fairness looks like in an economic community.

Perhaps most importantly, what alternatives might we imagine? If we questioned the necessity of business models built on below-living wages, what different arrangements might emerge? What innovations in business structure, technology, pricing, or consumer expectations might develop in response?

History offers some clues. Previous labor standards that seemed economically impossible at their introduction—the end of child labor, the 40-hour workweek, workplace safety regulations—did not destroy economic vitality as predicted. Instead, they spurred adaptation and often led to unexpected productivity improvements.

What if the choice isn’t between low-wage jobs or no jobs at all, but rather between our current arrangement and something we haven’t yet fully imagined—something that better aligns with both enterprise and human dignity?

Discussions about wages and business viability are not just technical matters. They are ethical ones, shaping the conditions under which people can build their lives. If we approach them with curiosity rather than resignation, what possibilities might we be overlooking?

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If Your Business Can’t Afford Living Wages, It’s Already Failing

We call it entrepreneurship, but too often, it’s just corporate welfare. When businesses refuse to pay living wages, someone else covers the difference—taxpayers, families, communities. Workers stretch every dollar, rely on public assistance, or take on multiple jobs just to survive, all so “entrepreneurs” can keep labor costs low and profits intact. And yet, the only time we hear alarm bells about economic collapse is when workers demand more—never when businesses build their survival on poverty wages.

I came across this over the weekend: “Employers hate paying workers more because higher wages mean lower profit rates. Some marginally profitable businesses will face bankruptcy. Wealth holders will be concerned about companies raising prices to meet their profit objectives and causing inflation.”

This statement frames higher wages as simply eating into profits, but let’s call it what it is: a defense of business models built on paying people less than they need to live. If your company can only stay afloat by keeping workers in poverty, you don’t have a viable business—you have a failing operation propped up by other people’s hardship.

The hand-wringing about “marginally profitable businesses facing bankruptcy” conveniently ignores that these companies are already functionally bankrupt. They’re just offloading their failure onto workers’ backs instead of admitting it. Real viability means covering your actual costs—including paying people enough to live on.

What burns me up is how workers at these struggling companies shoulder all the risk without knowing it. They’re staking their entire livelihoods on businesses hanging by a thread, with zero transparency and none of the upside that investors get for taking similar risks. Their reward for this gamble? Barely making rent.

And that fear about inflation from wage increases? Funny how that concern disappears when discussing executive compensation or record corporate profits. The alarm only sounds when regular people might get a slightly larger slice of the pie.

But the problem doesn’t stop with individual workers. There’s a broader social cost to businesses that refuse to pay fair wages.

When wages are too low, workers don’t just struggle in isolation—the rest of society picks up the tab. Taxpayers subsidize companies that refuse to pay living wages through food assistance, housing programs, and healthcare. Entire communities suffer as local economies shrink, and people are trapped in cycles of financial insecurity with no way out. Chronic stress from low wages leads to health problems, burnout, and instability, all of which ripple outward.

And let’s be clear: the market doesn’t punish businesses that exploit workers—it rewards them. It’s not just that bad businesses manage to survive; it’s that they thrive in a system that incentivizes cutting labor costs at any expense. Meanwhile, businesses that pay fairly are put at a competitive disadvantage. This isn’t just a failure of individual companies—it’s a structural problem baked into how we define “success.”

So, let’s ask the real question: What kind of economy are we choosing to build? One that treats labor as a disposable cost? Or one that recognizes that a business that can’t afford to pay living wages isn’t a business at all—it’s just a machine extracting value from workers while someone else covers the consequences?

The cold truth? If paying living wages would kill your business, your business model is already dead—you’re just using workers as life support. And the rest of society is footing the bill.

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Dreams Without Pressure: Wisdom from Kenny Gamble

Notes from a conversation with the Philadelphia International Records co-founder

The Cost of Dreaming

“What’s it costing you to dream?” Kenny Gamble asks with the confidence of someone who has seen countless aspirations rise and fall. “That’s the most fulfilling part of life is to be able to dream.” Coming from a music industry legend who helped shape the Philadelphia Sound, these words carry particular weight. Rather than treating dreams as expensive luxuries, Gamble views them as essential components of a fulfilling life.

Protecting Your Dreams

Throughout the conversation, Gamble returns repeatedly to a central theme: protecting your dreams from the pressures that might corrupt them.

“Never put a lot of pressure on your dreams, but always pursue your dreams.”

This balanced approach emerged from his own experience building Philadelphia International Records while maintaining other jobs and pursuing his education.

The Reality Strategy

Gamble’s approach to pursuing dreams is refreshingly practical. He emphasizes keeping “reality in focus at all times,” with reality defined clearly as “food, clothing, and shelter.” His strategy includes:

  • Maintaining multiple backup plans (Plans A through D)
  • Holding down regular jobs while pursuing creative goals
  • Modifying spending habits to reduce financial pressure
  • Building a sustainable foundation for long-term success

“You modify your spending so that you’re not in need of money. You’re not putting a burden on your dream.”

This practical approach isn’t about compromising the dream – it’s about creating conditions where it can thrive.

The Day Job Philosophy

Perhaps most striking is Gamble’s perspective on day jobs. Rather than seeing them as dream-killers, he positions them as dream-protectors. “That’s why you go get a job,” he states matter-of-factly. In his view, steady employment isn’t admitting defeat – it’s creating a protective foundation for your aspirations.

The Persistence Paradox

When asked about giving up, Gamble offers an intriguing perspective:

“The day that you give up, that’s the day you’re going to make it.”

This isn’t just about blind persistence – it’s about understanding that the journey of pursuing a dream is valuable in itself.

Personal Experience

Gamble’s advice isn’t theoretical – it’s drawn from his experience building one of music’s most influential record labels. Working with artists like Patti LaBelle, Teddy Pendergrass, and The O’Jays, he and his team created music that has lasted for decades. Yet even at the height of their success, they maintained their work ethic, choosing studio time over parties, and treating their creative work as joy rather than burden.

The Balance

What emerges from the conversation is a philosophy that neither dismisses dreams as impractical nor treats them as all-consuming obsessions. Instead, Gamble advocates for a middle path – one where dreams are nurtured, protected, and pursued with both passion and pragmatism. It’s an approach that helped create countless classics in the music industry, and one that remains relevant for dreamers in any field today.

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Your own privacy policy

Food for thought about privacy policies from Doc Searls:

There is no reason why websites and services can’t agree to your privacy policy, and your terms of engagement. In legal terms, you should be able to operate as the first party, and to proffer your own terms, to which sites and services can agree (or, as privacy laws now say, consent) as second parties. That this is barely thinkable is a legacy of a time that has sadly not yet left us: one in which only companies can enjoy that kind of scale. Yet it would clearly be a convenience to have privacy as normalized in the online world as it is in the offline one.

Doc is Founder and director of ProjectVRM at the Berkman Klein Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University, and Co-founder and board member of Customer Commons,

He is a blogger and he is a co-author of The Cluetrain Manifesto.

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Highlighting content from my September 2021 newsletter

Doing novel things and doing old things… is not enough

Cliff Hazell:

Building a successful organization is a mix of doing new/novel things, old things, and very old things. I think we usually spend too much time talking about the new and novel as if it’s a silver bullet. Doing the old and very old things consistently and well is overlooked.

I would add an additional distinction: there’s the new/novel and there’s the timeless. There is also the timely: doing things at the right time.

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Highlighting content from my September 2021 newsletter.

Discovered in translation

A translator, being obliged by the nature of his task to attend to every single successive phrase of his author, however plain the meaning may seem, and to consider the intelligibility of what he renders to the uninitiated, sometimes discovers points of real difficulty which have escaped even the most thorough commentators, or arrives at fresh solutions of old problems. (source)

Not only in formal translation but also when living in multiple languages. It sometimes helps to think of a situation in a different language.

 

See also: Discovery is not finding new lands, it’s something else

 

The business card

As a communications form, it is characterized by severe physical limitations and adamantly observed conventions. Its canvas measures a mere 2 inches by 3.5 inches. There is basic information — name, job title, contact info — you’re expected to include, and if you do include it, that can be enough.

(…)

Facebook profiles get revised (…). Tweets fade into the ether and avatars are put out to pasture, but real paper business cards,

these sturdy facsimiles of ourselves on custom-duplexed cardstock with metallic ink and die-cut rounded corners, are going to last forever,

tacked onto bulletin boards, tucked away in wallets, stuffed into filing cabinets, dumped into landfills and yet taking up space in the world, stunning evidence of our superior discernment and professionalism that generations yet unborn will marvel at.

via The Smart Set.

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So what is innovation?

“Innovation is tied to time and place” “Innovation is hard to define, but when we see it, we recognize it.” “The vast majority of innovation occurs where opportunity meets preparation.” “One recipe for innovation involves blending two different things that come together to create a third thing.”

Innovators are like jazz musicians… or like permanent teenagers. These and other analogies flowed [at this MIT panel discussion], as top-flight tech inventors tried to put their fingers on the precise nature of innovation and how it can best be coaxed into existence.

Related posts:

The missing piece of the innovation puzzle

Schools kill creativity

70/20/10 – Managing innovation the Google way