The power of ‘What For?’ Questions: Rethinking Conversation

You’re asking the wrong question—and it’s holding you back.

The power of ‘what for’ questions offers a transformative alternative. In conversations, we’re often inclined to ask ‘why’ to understand someone’s motivations or reasoning. We want to know what led them to a certain choice or how they came to hold a particular belief. “Why?” is so ingrained in our thinking that it almost feels like a reflex, especially in moments when we’re seeking clarity or alignment. Yet, while “Why?” pulls us backward, making us trace origins and reasons, there’s another question that can sometimes unlock even more meaningful answers.

When I first started thinking about this distinction, I assumed “Why?” was always the deeper question. But the more I worked with leaders and reflected on conversations, the more I noticed that “Why?” often kept us circling the past instead of building toward the future. That’s when I started asking, “What for?”—and the difference surprised me.

Consider the question “What for?”—a question that directs our attention to the future, inviting responses centered around purpose, goals, and intentions. Unlike “Why?”, which often demands an answer that begins with “because,” “What for?” skips the backward-facing detective work of “because” and leaps straight into the architect’s blueprint of “so as to” or “with a view to.” It’s less Sherlock Holmes and more Frank Gehry.

In many ways, this distinction between “Why?” and “What for?” mirrors the difference between asking “Where are you coming from?” and “Where are you going?” The first question looks back at origins and reasons, while the second looks ahead to direction and purpose. Let’s explore why “What for?” might be the question that opens up more purposeful, forward-thinking conversations.

The Purposeful Shift from “Why?” to “What for?”

When we ask “Why?”, we’re usually looking for causes. “Why did you choose this direction?” “Why do you believe that?” This line of questioning digs up the motivations and histories behind people’s actions and beliefs. And while this backward look can be valuable, it may not always reveal where someone hopes to go next.

Asking “What for?” is a small shift with a big impact. Instead of grounding a conversation in the past, “What for?” directs it toward the future. For example, in a coaching context, asking “Why do you want this promotion?” might reveal motivations like ambition or a sense of obligation. But asking “What do you want the promotion for?” could invite a different answer, perhaps touching on the desire to lead, the vision of making an impact, or the goal of developing new skills. The response here isn’t simply about motivation—it’s about purpose and direction.

“What for?” might feel like a minor adjustment, but it’s the conversational equivalent of turning your GPS from “history mode” to “destination preview.”

Practical Applications: Shifting Conversations Forward

Here’s how “What for?” can make a difference in a few scenarios:

In Executive Coaching

When a client is setting new goals, asking “What for?” helps them to envision the purpose behind those goals. Instead of grounding their thinking in past achievements or past struggles, it encourages them to articulate the future impact they’re hoping to create. This forward look can lead to greater clarity and motivation.

In Team Meetings

When a team faces a decision point, asking “Why are we choosing this approach?” could yield a list of past-oriented reasons, often grounded in what has or hasn’t worked before. Asking “What are we choosing this approach for?” invites the team to discuss the outcomes they aim to achieve, keeping the conversation focused on objectives and end results.

In Personal Conversations

Even in everyday discussions, shifting to “What for?” can open up new perspectives. Instead of asking a friend “Why did you decide to move?” try asking “What are you hoping to gain from the move?” This small change can reveal the goals, dreams, or opportunities they’re looking forward to, making the conversation more about their aspirations than their past.

The Different Impacts of “Why?” and “What for?”

Both questions have their place, and each has the potential to lead to important insights. “Why?” helps us understand context and background, which can sometimes be essential. But “What for?” brings us to a different layer of understanding, one that speaks to vision and purpose. While “Why?” can help explain what led to today, “What for?” can help shape tomorrow.

In conversations, as in life, both questions matter. “Why?” connects us to our roots, grounding us in what’s brought us here. But it’s “What for?” that pulls us forward, aligning us with the goals and intentions we often overlook. The balance between them is where meaningful progress lives. So, the next time you’re tempted to ask “Why?”, pause for a moment. Maybe it’s time to ask, “What for?” instead—and see where it takes you.

An Invitation to Experiment

Rather than simply deciding that “What for?” is better than “Why?”, think of this as an experiment in how we approach conversations. Try this: In your next meeting or conversation, pause before asking “Why?” and reframe it as “What for?” Notice how the responses shift. Does the person lean into their goals instead of their reasons? Or try flipping it—ask yourself both questions about a current challenge and compare the answers. What does “Why?” reveal about your past, and how does “What for?” shape your vision of the future?

By leveraging the strengths of each, we can have richer, more purposeful conversations. You might find that each question brings out a unique perspective, but that “What for?” invites others (and yourself) to connect more deeply with where you’re heading.

Go HERE for more Essays.

Managers: it’s time to remind yourself why anyone should care

From the raw signal group:

Authors observe that a consequence of the great resignation is that people are walking into new jobs with a different attitude.

They didn’t come asking for meaning, or flavour, or for work to delight them. They came with boundaries and a list of expectations. And, listen: that’s a good thing. It’s extremely healthy for workers to want things like limits on working hours, competitive pay regardless of geography, and an ability to shut off work when they aren’t at work. We should hope that those gains, as uneven as they’ve been, outlast any pandemic or economic cycle.

Those changes are necessary. But they aren’t sufficient. Like a shopping mall food court, we’re surrounded by companies shouting about what a good deal they’re offering. Globally competitive salaries! 4 day work weeks in summer! Free dipping sauce! And in the midst of it, it feels like more people than ever before are finding their work really… bland. Like in the fight to compete for attention, employers have forgotten to build a culture worth fighting for.

So, insisting that we return to the office, to the same-old, just won’t cut it. And assuming that we’re all set because we are already remote or distributed won’t do it either. It’s not so much about the mode of work as it is the moment.

Their suggestion?

It’s time to tell the story again, bosses. Get your house in order on compensation and workload and expectations, for sure. But once you’ve done that, it’s time to remind yourself why anyone should care.

You may find this surprisingly hard at first. Why does your work matter? What impact does it have on the world around you, and why should someone who doesn’t care about the details of your industry give a shit? We don’t mean some sanitized corporate mission statement. We mean your own, real, authentically felt, dare-we-say-it-spicy sense of purpose.

Connect with that story. Tell that story. A modern one, with fresh spices. You want your people to feel it, to put the fire back in your organization. And you’re not gonna get there with the version that’s been sitting at the bottom of the drawer since 2019.

It’s not the overused and abused “Storytelling”. It’s creating clarity for yourself first.

Start with the light

Doc Searls on his blog.

So where does [architect] Bill Patrick start, working unassisted by computer?

“I start with the light,” he says. “I say ‘where do we want the light?'”

We wanted our light coming from the direction of our hilltop view toward San Francisco Bay. We also wanted to enjoy that light outdoors as well as inside the house. The result is a lot of glass on every floor facing the Bay, and a deck or balcony outside every room on the Bay side the house. The roof is nearly flat, to maximize interior space within the local limits on roof height above grade, and the whole thing is not only beautiful, but unlike anything else, anywhere. It expresses Bill’s art, and it reflects our original intentions.

In other words, it’s a creation, not a replication or a variation. I also can’t imagine seeing this house as a template for anything else.

The same principle applies for any communicative act – letter, email, text, talk, presentation, etc. Start with the light; with what the purpose of the act is. And work backwards from there.

More here.