THE government is to invest £500bn of your money in British banks so they can lend it back to you with interest. The historic move is being hailed as a lifeline for the financial system as long as nobody asks too many questions.
Julian Cook chief economist at Corbett and Barker said “The government will give your money to the banks so the banks can start lending you that money probably at around 7% APR.
“Thanks to all the interest you re paying on your own money the banks will make billions of pounds again and normality will be restored. (…)
“In case you hadn t already worked it out – the entire global financial system is predicated on the assumption that you re an idiot.”
Thanks The Daily Mash.
